Back to Back Issues Page
Walking By with a Difference
September 14, 2015

I have a task for you all. No it is not compulsory and I won’t be checking up on you. It is a suggestion only.

That you go for walk somewhere and there are not too many people around or maybe no one at all. And you take your time and notice something on your walk. It might be the clouds in the sky, the shape of the tree or pebbles that you throw onto a small lake. Or the shape of the path in front of you.

Just stay with that and wonder why I am asking you to do this?

best wishes

Direct Line: 0208 257 0429 Mobile: 07870 104651 Skype: famrichhg

by Sophia Yasmeen

    When we look around, we see that people now days are more inclined to offer and accept help from each other in order resolve their problem. But perhaps we need to think carefully and ask ourselves why do we help? What goes on our mind when we are helping? I often find myself that I am helping someone who is less strong than I am and who is needier than I am. Therefore, there is always this subtle sense of inequality. On the other hand, service is like healing, it is mutual. When I am serving, I am doing it from an unbroken completeness within me that wants nothing.

    When we are helping there is a risk of damaging others self-esteem, integrity and wholeness. One way or another it puts the person who receives help in a situation where they are forced to remain forever indebted.

    But when I serve it gives me a sense of thankfulness, counting my blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging everything that I receive. This sense shifts my focus from what lacks in mine and other peoples life to the abundance that is already present. Thus, it leaves us with a great feeling of equality.

    Similarly, when I am trying to fix or repair a situation, I understand it as broken in the first place, and I feel that I need to act upon its brokenness. Thus, I create judgement that then creates disconnection and inequality. How can we function as a server if we are not connected? For me, I can only serve when I am deeply connected. Mother Teresa's message: ‘We serve life not because it is broken but because it is holy’.

    Being a server, I know that I am being used in the creation of something greater than my own self- interest. Service is the work of one’s soul and fixing and helping are the work of ones ego. They may look not so different from the outside, but the inner experience is different. My observation over the years that when I tried to help and fix someone I left them in many ways wounded as I failed to recognize their wholeness. Only service that heals.

Sophia is a beautiful writer and I am happily sharing her work in my Feelbetter Newsletter.

Feelbetter Counselling East London website

My Depression Help Blog

My Depression Recovery website

Depression Optimist Facebook page

Back to Back Issues Page