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Control means being free
October 01, 2012

    Feeling safe is the first call. Without that, all bets are off. And after that, our emotional health is directly related to our sense of autonomy and control. We have to find the freedom to take decisive action in the work we do and the relationships we co-create. And thereby being able to take responsibility for the consequences of that action.

Yes I am back to this quote (if you remember, by me and in fact taken from a late draft of my long awaited book on the meaning of life).

After talk of safety, it goes onto make a simple point – which is that in order to have some control in your life, you must have space. Control means volition and the capacity thereby to make a move. This move could relate to a career change, to changing the relationship with your partner, to finding a way to improve a behaviour of your child, to acting on a desire to buy a book or see a film or to cook a vegetarian meal. You name it. There is the possibility of making a change, of there be the space to do that.

And so with this space and the movement into it that you choose to make, we can then take responsibility for what happens next. And perhaps after that, we may decide to do something else.

In parenthesis, the dictionary definitions of the word control are about restraint and limitation – like controlling a wild horse. So almost the opposite.

best wishes

Andrew Richardson
Feelbetter Counselling East London

94 Malford Grove, London E18 2DQ

Direct Line: 0208 257 0429 Mobile: 07870 104651 Skype: famrichhg

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