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Life is not always Fair
April 17, 2017

This heading - Life is not always fair – is the third of David Ricoh’s Five Things We Cannot Change. But David is being too modest here. It is not that life is not always fair, but life is never fair. Because of course the fairness scales will be in both directions – we can get something we don’t deserve and find ourselves well treated as well as the opposite.

We humans have a great sensitivity and awareness of any signs of fairness that goes against us but never for what goes for us. And there is a reason. It is that societies will break down if the idea gets through that one group is taking too much advantage. But it can also present a problem as the political discourse is so much bound up with feeding this sensitivity to fairness and equality. Indeed for the political left, this seem to be their entire focus while the extreme right (thankfully barely operating in UK today), will also be entirely obsessed with playing the same card.

My problem with the fairness focus is that it can quickly transmute into victimhood – which disempowers. And I know so very well as a therapist who hears terrible and at times heart breaking stories of innocent suffering, that victimhood is rarely the way to recovery and restoration.

by Sophia Yasmeen

    In the daily miracle of sunrise and the earth’s forgiveness.... I create healing and peace within where grace and gratitude overflows in every cell of my body. The feeling of not having enough fades away like the morning dew. There is nothing missing in this moment, like this cup I am holding, this air I am breathing or the avocado I just ate there is so much in all of these. Only by not recognizing what we already have we bring so much sadness in our life. We are afraid of other people, of being separated, of being lonely. M Pierce said in his novel Night Owl “there is no such thing as loneliness. There is only the idea of loneliness."

    If we keep the momentum going there is no need to wait for the better moment to come.

Sophia is a beautiful writer and I am happily sharing her work in my Feelbetter Newsletter.

best wishes

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