Anger issues will resolve easily when you know what they exactly are Anger issues arise as the other part of the natural and at times automatically firing flight or fight response. We know the flight part of the flight or fight response is a movement away from trouble motivated by fear and anxiety. Anger is a movement towards the stimulus – ready for action and all guns blazing. From this understanding, anger control and anger management is achievable. The anger response can be an exciting and powerfully appealing response that can easily take on addictive qualities - and so become a real anger issue. In any event, you are spending far too much time being emotionally hi-jacked. In these cases (and paralleling the anxiety response), the anger can take hold and make life worse – through damaged relationships mainly. The consequence will then be a loss of anger control. This will then raise stress levels which risk further anger outbursts and a life that works even less well. So anger issues are about emotional unravelling which is the same as for pretty well every other mental problem.
The best way to view anger is as located on the anxiety part of the image – as a central limbic system response that can manifest and develop in a number of ways. How to relieve unwelcome Anger - real anger management counselling
One – finding the anger source
Two – decoupling using trance (if required) Rewind will be useful if there is trauma. The de-traumatisation will means that the anger will no longer be necessary. The anger can be put in a more useful place – as a friend that can be called upon in emergencies. If the pattern is a deeper molar memory then again trance can be helpful in allowing the anger issues and motivation to be let go, as inappropriate and childish. Trance may also have a part to play in more indirect means of neutralising patterns – read the anger stories as an example of metaphorical trance words to use in trance Three – making use of different ways to see and reframe the anger. Such as
Four – getting Needs better met As anger is typically a response to feelings of disempowerment or of being out of control – then we are clearly talking of needs not well met. Undertaking a Needs Audit and then problem solving to improve the balance of a life has to be part of anger resolution. Practising tools of relaxation and self awareness are often important also. General relaxation can help as well as awareness work (while in a relaxed state) and trance rehearsal – to neutralise particular trigger situations and the rehearsal of better behaviours and responses.
Anger management is very popular now - but for most people with anger problems, such management courses can only scratch the surface. This is because anger management does not correct the psychological causes of anger - which as we have seen can vary from person to person. But anger problems are resolvable - of that there is no doubt. What do you believe is the source of your anger problem? Go to Anger Tools East London, on the Central Line, 30 mins from the City Landline: 020 8257 0429, Mobile/text: 07870 104651, Skype name: famrichhg |
Relaxation and Empowerment
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Case study: Greg
Greg was a New Zealander in his mid 30s who came to see me because his uncontrollable anger was risking the relationship with the woman who was bearing his child. Greg had endured a very difficult upbringing with addicted parents who ignored him. And he remembers an occasion when as a young boy, he had almost killed his younger brother in a great rage which he could see had really calmed him down at that moment.
Greg had spent a number of years of heavy addiction and generally bumming around but had recovered from this period and was now clean. However there was still a heavy toll – in terms of traumatic events he had had to contend with and a life where his anger outbursts had become an important strategy for him – to keep some kind of control and to assert himself.
Greg saw me over an extended four month period. During that time we cleared the molar memories around the anger outburst when Greg was young and used Rewind to clear memories particularly from his teenage years. We also worked hard on day to day matters – learning relaxation tools and visualising being calmer and avoiding trigger situations.
Shortly after finishing, Greg and his new family returned to New Zealand.
The flight or flight response, activating the amygdale is at the heart of most angers (as well as pretty well all anxieties).
The first session will only be charged if you found that it helped and/or you decide to continue with me.
Over 85% of my clients feel better at the end of their treatment - normally around 4 sessions. This is a high number and should give you confidence. I am pretty well unique as a private therapist - to maintain such records.
| Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy. Aristotle |