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Clearing past emotional patterns in Counselling

rejuvenation

How you respond emotionally to your day to day experiences - your emotional patterns and triggers - will be the main influence on your capacity to live an enriched and balanced life.

So ask yourself:

    Do your typical emotional responses give you the confidence and control you need to live a life where your essential needs can be met?

And if you answer no or maybe not, then know that effective and long lasting emotional healing requires that these unhelpful emotional patterns be identified and cleared.

My experience with many clients is very hopeful - that there may practically be just a small number of pathways to the identification and clearing of these emotional patterns.

Unhelpful emotional patterns and triggers:

  1. From a perhaps long forgotten trauma experience
  2. A coping strategy from childhood that still persists unconsciously.
  3. A childhood motivation for compulsive behaviours that lies hidden behind an experience of embarrassment or shame - molar memories.
  4. An understanding or interpretation that is neither helpful nor reliable – to be reframed.
  5. A life story or time line that just does not work.


The Affect Bridge in Counselling

The affect bridge is a useful means to find the origin of many emotional patterns. As the name the idea is to form a bridge between the original source of the emotion and the current emotion.

Reframing Exercise

world

Depending on where you are, you see things differently. And this applies to everything, not only to planet earth. And no viewing place is intrinsically better than any other. It is just different - and either helpful or unhelpful.

Are you seeing your challenges from a position that is helping you? And if you are not, then perhaps you can just change the place from where you view it.



Reframing

Ivan Tyrell (one of the Human Givens founders) said to a class I attended that reframing is the heart of all effective therapy and of course he is correct. The way in which a problem or situation is perceived, understood and processed can always be shifted – to offer the possibility of change and a sense of move or time limitation.

Secondary gain – a behaviour or pattern which persists despite protestations and failure to shift - is best seen as a particular reframing question.

The hidden motivation that drives the secondary gain (such as to receive attention or to hide from an important decision) is where the reframing has to begin.

A lovely by product of a good reframe is that confidence between a therapist and his/her client is enhanced.

Read some reframing stories


Stories and Metaphors in Counselling

The creative use of metaphors and stories are another essential tool for shifting emotional patterns and reframing. This has been well understood down the centuries. Read what Indries Shah has to say - and enjoy my favourite stories here.

And understand how metaphors are used in trance.


Below there are two boxes - describing the detail of two sources of emotional patterns - and after both of these, the way to clear them.


Becoming Adult
    The Hypothesis

    As a child we felt sad, scared, angry, and/or bewildered. Our needs were not met. Usually these unmet needs were one or more of the following: attention, security, love, friendship, feeling valued. As an adult, we attempt to “make it better” for the child. The simple truth is that our child cannot get its needs met today, no matter how hard we try.

    The adult strives endlessly for the ‘unattainable’ and in the process, feels out of control, because control is in the hands of a child. This leads to immature behaviour with self destructive thoughts and behaviours.

    This is “Chasing Rainbows’ behaviour”. What we want is an attractive, hypnotic illusion, but which, like the elusive end of the rainbow is always unreachable.

    There is of course a big difference between childish and childlike behaviour. The latter is desirable at times, the former is not - ever.

    In a sentence, emotional immaturity can be attributed to a frightened child hijacking the adult’s behaviour in order to attempt to complete a deficient pattern from childhood.

    Rita Leaman (Human Givens practitioner)


Molar Memories

    Based on the work of Joe Griffin

    We all have patterns and habits and moods and motivations, which when we think about them, don’t make much sense.

    For some though, these hidden and inexplicable impulses are damaging, humiliating and destructive and necessarily are kept hidden. These impulses could though be molar memory – and if they are, then they can be cleared quickly.

    So, what are Molar memories?

    They reflect the probable existence that the obsessive behaviour has two memory roots: of pain and pleasure. The pleasure is hidden behind the pain of an original experience, which invariably comes from childhood. It is that hidden pleasure and the unconscious desire to replicate it that drives the apparently inexplicable compulsion.

    And to clear these patterns?
    Clearing them is about uncovering them and then living with the awareness that comes from that.

    To find out more - Visit Compulsions.



rejuvenationNone of us will have the same life experience of course but the source of most emotional patterns and triggers that need to be cleared can be identified surprisingly easily.

And perhaps I can help you find yours too.



Go to Expectancy in Counselling
Go to Understanding Emotions
Go to Trauma
Go to Time Lines and life story telling
Go to Resources
Return to Skilful Counselling from Emotional patterns



    East London, on the Central Line, around 30 minutes from the City
    94 Malford Grove, South Woodford, London E18 2DQ
    for Woodford, Wanstead, Leytonstone, Leyton, Walthamstow, Chingford, Highams Park, Hackney, Forest Gate, Stratford and Bethnal Green.
    Also Chigwell. Epping, Buckhurst Hill, Ilford, Barkingside and Loughton, Edmonton, Enfield, Ponders End

    Landline: 020 8257 0429, Mobile/text: 07870 104651, Skype name: famrichhg


 

Feelbetter Counselling's model of mental and emotional distress:

ORWED

This is ORWED Click here to find out more and to view ORWED more clearly.

As life and how we cope fail to work.....into the whirlpool of emotion we go.....and out of which we may develop either a predominantly anxiety, depression or addiction problem.

The key point is not to focus on the detail of the problem but to understand that all have a common cause and common route back to emotional health.


Other therapies to clear patterns and restore health

Energy Therapy - Discover the Secret to Good Health Click here


The first session will only be charged if you found that it helped and/or you decide to continue with me.

Relaxation and Empowerment

relaxmp3
Right-click to download this Mp3 file here.


Evidence of effective counselling. View it here.

Over 85% of my clients feel better at the end of their treatment - normally around 4 sessions. This is a high number and should give you confidence. I am pretty well unique as a private therapist - to maintain such records.



E Motion Downloads

    Andrew Richardson
    Building Self Confidence
    Relaxation
    Goal setting

    Lift Depression
    Post-Natal Depression
    Overcoming Grief

    Stopping Addictions
    Stopping Cocaine
    Stopping Binge Drinking

    Improving Partner Relationships

    Mark Bajer
    Break Through Phobias
    Anxiety Control it now
    Leave Trauma Behind

    Click here


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To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
Marilyn vos Savant