Clearing past emotional patterns in Counselling
 How you respond emotionally to your day to day experiences - your emotional patterns and triggers - will be the main influence on your capacity to live an enriched and balanced life. So ask yourself: Do your typical emotional responses give you the confidence and control you need to live a life where your essential needs can be met?
And if you answer no or maybe not, then know that effective and long lasting emotional healing requires that these unhelpful emotional patterns be identified and cleared. My experience with many clients is very hopeful - that there may practically be just a small number of pathways to the identification and clearing of these emotional patterns. Unhelpful emotional patterns and triggers: - From a perhaps long forgotten trauma experience
- A coping strategy from childhood that still persists unconsciously.
- A childhood motivation for compulsive behaviours that lies hidden behind an experience of embarrassment or shame - molar memories.
- An understanding or interpretation that is neither helpful nor reliable – to be reframed.
- A life story or time line that just does not work.
The Affect Bridge in Counselling
The affect bridge is a useful means to find the origin of many emotional patterns. As the name the idea is to form a bridge between the original source of the emotion and the current emotion. A current feeling will be activated that is unwelcome or confusing. You will be invited, in a relaxed and calm state to move back to the first point in time where this feeling was felt. Once uncovered, the emotion can then be dealt with, typically in trance. Reframing Exercise 
Depending on where you are, you see things differently. And this applies to everything, not only to planet earth. And no viewing place is intrinsically better than any other. It is just different - and either helpful or unhelpful. Are you seeing your challenges from a position that is helping you? And if you are not, then perhaps you can just change the place from where you view it.
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ReframingIvan Tyrell (one of the Human Givens founders) said to a class I attended that reframing is the heart of all effective therapy and of course he is correct. The way in which a problem or situation is perceived, understood and processed can always be shifted – to offer the possibility of change and a sense of move or time limitation. Secondary gain – a behaviour or pattern which persists despite protestations and failure to shift - is best seen as a particular reframing question. The hidden motivation that drives the secondary gain (such as to receive attention or to hide from an important decision) is where the reframing has to begin. A lovely by product of a good reframe is that confidence between a therapist and his/her client is enhanced. Read some reframing stories
Stories and Metaphors in Counselling
The creative use of metaphors and stories are another essential tool for shifting emotional patterns and reframing. This has been well understood down the centuries. Read what Indries Shah has to say - and enjoy my favourite stories here. And understand how metaphors are used in trance.
Below there are two boxes - describing the detail of two sources of emotional patterns - and after both of these, the way to clear them.
Becoming Adult The Hypothesis
As a child we felt sad, scared, angry, and/or bewildered. Our needs were not met. Usually these unmet needs were one or more of the following: attention, security, love, friendship, feeling valued. As an adult, we attempt to “make it better” for the child. The simple truth is that our child cannot get its needs met today, no matter how hard we try. The adult strives endlessly for the ‘unattainable’ and in the process, feels out of control, because control is in the hands of a child. This leads to immature behaviour with self destructive thoughts and behaviours. This is “Chasing Rainbows’ behaviour”. What we want is an attractive, hypnotic illusion, but which, like the elusive end of the rainbow is always unreachable. There is of course a big difference between childish and childlike behaviour. The latter is desirable at times, the former is not - ever. In a sentence, emotional immaturity can be attributed to a frightened child hijacking the adult’s behaviour in order to attempt to complete a deficient pattern from childhood. Rita Leaman (Human Givens practitioner) |
Molar Memories Based on the work of Joe Griffin
We all have patterns and habits and moods and motivations, which when we think about them, don’t make much sense. For some though, these hidden and inexplicable impulses are damaging, humiliating and destructive and necessarily are kept hidden. These impulses could though be molar memory – and if they are, then they can be cleared quickly. So, what are Molar memories? They reflect the probable existence that the obsessive behaviour has two memory roots: of pain and pleasure. The pleasure is hidden behind the pain of an original experience, which invariably comes from childhood. It is that hidden pleasure and the unconscious desire to replicate it that drives the apparently inexplicable compulsion. And to clear these patterns? Clearing them is about uncovering them and then living with the awareness that comes from that. To find out more - Visit Compulsions. |
None of us will have the same life experience of course but the source of most emotional patterns and triggers that need to be cleared can be identified surprisingly easily.
And perhaps I can help you find yours too.
Go to Expectancy in Counselling
Go to Understanding Emotions
Go to Trauma
Go to Time Lines and life story telling
Go to Resources
Return to Skilful Counselling from Emotional patterns
East London, on the Central Line, around 30 minutes from the City 94 Malford Grove, South Woodford, London E18 2DQ for Woodford, Wanstead, Leytonstone, Leyton, Walthamstow, Chingford, Highams Park, Hackney, Forest Gate, Stratford and Bethnal Green. Also Chigwell. Epping, Buckhurst Hill, Ilford, Barkingside and Loughton, Edmonton, Enfield, Ponders End
Landline: 020 8257 0429, Mobile/text: 07870 104651, Skype name: famrichhg
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