Depression means being overwhelmed and exhausted by feelings and thoughts out of control. Being invited to talk about them just fuels them to do even greater damage.
Listen to this Eighth Audio of the “Depression Help” series and you can also read the accompanying blog post.
Listen/Download to my audio: Saying how you feel is not what depressed people should do
Read my Depression Help Blog post: Saying how you feel is not what depressed people should do
1: Three stage programme
Audio 2: More than Depression Tips
Audio 3: Two Suggestions
Audio 4: Talking is last thing
Audio 5: Vicious and Virtuous
Audio 6: Depression like a Twisted Ankle
Audio 7: Ignorance of Depression
Audio 8: How do you feel?
Audio 9: Timelines and Life Stories
Audio 10 : Ask the right questions
Audio 11: Three reframes
Audio 12: Is each depression unique?
Audio 13: Drowning in Depression
Talking about your problems and saying how you feel is not top of the agenda for a depressed person as their emotions have to be calmed down first before it makes any sense. Talking will just maintains arousal and does not point to solutions and changes that can work. And if you are being asked to talk about your feelings – overwhelming and chaotic and unordered and inescapable as they are by someone trained to listen – well how scary is that?
It is difficult enough to make a decent translation from the Russian of Chekov into English. Imagine how much more difficult it would be for someone trapped in their emotions to attempt anything worthwhile by way of a translation – of these feelings into mere words?
No – get arousal down by action and distraction and by a deep understanding of why these feelings are so overwhelming. And only then begin to listen to what your feelings might be saying and maybe then it might be worth talking about them.