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Accessing your Resources in Counselling
 We all have valuable resources, even though they may be hidden. The uncovering and healing of these are an essential element of good counselling. You can see your resources as your guidance system – and right now it may that it is pointing in the wrong direction or not pointing at all. It is very easy, especially when trapped in that whirlpool of emotion to focus on what is wrong and then to blame yourself in a way that further diminishes and disempowers you. Indeed this may well be a problem for counsellors as well – to focus on the negative and not see and enhance what is there.Valuable Resources to be used
- Memories and past experiences of success. These can be exams passed, jobs done, difficulties overcome or survived, relationships endured or enjoyed and unconsciously used capacities.
- Lessons learned. You have survived to this time and there will be reasons for this.
- Dreams and hopes. Even if they are buried deep down, what are they and how can they be resurrected realistically?
These may be your hidden gems, lying by the road side, hidden perhaps underneath rubbish and stones. They can be unearthed, recovered and then shined up. 
Resources as understood by the Human Givens, appear on the face of it, to be rather different. This is the Human Givens list - with comments to show how a skilful counsellor might work to enhance these.
- Complex long term memory, which enables us to add to our innate knowledge and learn
The counsellor's purpose here will be to help to uncover what is already there.
- The ability to build rapport, empathise and connect with others
Rehearsal in trance can often be helpful here and perhaps also help to learn and build social skills.
- A conscious, rational mind that can question, analyse and plan
You may get value from borrowing the intelligence of your therapist in relaxed conversation.
- The ability to 'know' — that is, understand the world intuitively through metaphorical pattern matching
This is vital and may well need repair and mending - by the use of trance, reframing, story telling skills and the full panoply of what the counsellor has available.
- An observing self — that part of us that can step back and be aware of itself as a unique centre of awareness
The fact that human beings can separate themselves from their emotions is a vital human resource. Quite often, a conversation which leads a client to see their problem differently and in a more detached way is very helpful.
- A dreaming brain that preserves the integrity of our emotional inheritance by metaphorically defusing expectations every night that were not acted out the previous day.
We know that dreaming is essential for our emotional health and that lowering arousal is the best way to ensure that our dreaming brain is working well.
For more explanation on our Resources, click here.
Two Wolves One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, fear, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "Why, that’s simple – it’s the one you feed." |
This story is as much directed to the therapist as the client. It is where you look that counts because that will determine what you find.
Download the Confidence Boosting E Motion download if you need any help looking in the right place.
Go to Expectancy in Counselling
Go to Understanding Emotions
Go to Trauma
Go to Emotional Patterns
Go to Time Lines and life story telling
Go to Resources
Return to Skilful Counselling from Resources
East London, on the Central Line, around 30 minutes from the City
94 Malford Grove, South Woodford, London E18 2DQ
for Woodford, Wanstead, Leytonstone, Leyton, Walthamstow, Chingford, Highams Park, Hackney, Forest Gate, Stratford and Bethnal Green.
Also Chigwell. Epping, Buckhurst Hill, Ilford, Barkingside and Loughton, Edmonton, Enfield, Ponders End
Landline: 020 8257 0429, Mobile/text: 07870 104651, Skype name: famrichhg
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Feelbetter Counselling's model of mental and emotional distress:
This is ORWED Click here to find out more and to view ORWED more clearly. As life and how we cope fail to work.....into the whirlpool of emotion we go.....and out of which we may develop either a predominantly anxiety, depression or addiction problem. The key point is not to focus on the detail of the problem but to understand that all have a common cause and common route back to emotional health.
Other therapies to clear patterns and restore health
Energy Therapy - Discover the Secret to Good Health Click here
The first session will only be charged if you found that it helped and/or you decide to continue with me.
Relaxation and Empowerment
Right-click to download this Mp3 file here.
Evidence of effective counselling. View it here. Over 85% of my clients feel better at the end of their treatment - normally around 4 sessions. This is a high number and should give you confidence. I am pretty well unique as a private therapist - to maintain such records.
E Motion Downloads Andrew Richardson
Building Self Confidence
Relaxation
Goal setting Lift Depression
Post-Natal Depression
Overcoming Grief Stopping Addictions
Stopping Cocaine
Stopping Binge Drinking Improving Partner Relationships
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To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
Marilyn vos Savant |
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