Self confidence is not quite what it seems – either to be full of it or to lack it. Neither is particularly healthy but neither should normally be the main focus of therapy.
Listen to this Eleventh Audio of the “What is Depression” series and you can also read the accompanying blog post.
Listen/download to my audio: A lack of self confidence is rarely what it seems
Read my Depression Help Blog post: A lack of self confidence is rarely what it seems
1: How Depression takes hold
Audio 2: Waking Up Exhausted
Audio 3: Twisted Ankle Fairy Story
Audio 4: Dreaming and Depression
Audio 5: Water Hose Metaphor
Audio 6: From Dreaming to Depression
Audio 7: Finding Trauma
Audio 8: What is mental illness?
Audio 9: Clearing Trauma
Audio 10: Examples of Rewind
Audio 11: Lacking Self Confidence
Audio 12: Flood metaphor for Depression
Audio 13: Sleep differences – Depression & Anxiety
Almost without exception, my clients will come to me with their self confidence low and battered. And very frequently, that will be the first piece of information they will proffer. But often also a lack of self confidence is a red herring.
The answer is not to jump on the obvious and fashionable answer to a problem but instead to ponder what the emotion of a lack of self confidence might be communicating. Is the message useful and will its deep comprehension help to relieve your depression (or anxiety or addiction.
What is needed is not to artificially raise self confidence above what is justified by the lack and failures of a life right now – but to heal these resources and then direct efforts to getting your life working better. When you do this, then lo and behold, self confidence will return. And you will not have to do anything about it as it will just happen. As night follows day or as better sleep follows a day without unproductive rumination.