Building Self-confidence Stories


So, which are you and which do you aspire to be?

    A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one grew. And often everything she tried seemed to make things worse or have no effect. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and in the third she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.C In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She picked the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

    Turning to her daughter she asked “Tell me, what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs and coffee” she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally the mother asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked “What does this mean, mother?” Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique. However, after they were in the boiling water, they had cchanged the water.

    “Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?” Think of this: Which am I? Am I a carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough or feeling helpless or just waiting for something to happen with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstances that bring the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean,v when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?




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Story Tellers

Pat Williams, one of the original Human Givens teachers who taught us all of the power of stories – to be spoken and not read.

Indries Shah,

Tahir Shah, his son

Rob Parkinson, also Human Givens and a writer and proselytizer of stories.


"No, no!" said the Queen. "Sentence first - verdict afterwards.”
Lewis Carroll